What a Dominant Looks For in a Submissive...

Illuminating the darkness…

Submissive men, men who desire to serve as consensual slaves, are on one of the most difficult journeys in the world today, because they have rejected patriarchal privilege and embraced their own heart’s calling instead.— TAMMY JO ECKHAR

I recently meet a submissive male, and it is because of our interaction I decided to write a blog. As a female who has been dominant most of her life, I have had my share of communication with submissive males and it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The main reason I am dissatisfied is because, they don't truly wish to serve a Mistress but themselves. For this reason I am extremely picky.

I met this male for an upscale dinner. He was respectful from the very first communication and at this point, I usually dismiss 95 percent of my e-mails because of the disrespectful nature. After taking the time to read his profile, which was filled out completely, I email him my 3 page questionnaire, which he really took the time to answer fully and completely.

At this point, I contemplate the decision on whether or not his service will be beneficial for me. I take a couple of days to respond back to his questionnaire, but he does not miss a beat with his communication and we set up a phone call. My initial impression of him over the phone was unimpressed and uninspired. However, due to the fact that he was open and honest with me, I thought I would give him a chance to prove himself and we set up a dinner meeting. He was on time and he had impeccable hygiene and good table manners. When asked the question, “what is the most important characteristic a person should have?”, his answer was integrity. I asked him to elaborate and he spoke of truth, honesty and follow thru. That should be the case in a D/s relationship, but so often integrity is ignored. As a mistress, it is hard to find a submissive person who is self-aware. My objective as a mistress is to capture your mind before your touch your body. He put himself out there for me to scrutinize him, and I did.

If you want to get in my good graces, take this submissive’s lead and invest the time to prove yourself worthy. This is accomplished by being honest, upfront, loyal, intelligent and most importantly respectful. If you can fulfill at least the majority of the above characteristics, this one should be almost automatic for you. Service to mistress includes learning what makes your mistress happy and doing your best to provide it. Never make your Mistress remind you of her preferences. Not having to make her wait longer than is absolutely necessary, being observant to her wants and needs, studying her habits, are all things that make your submission to her special.

To submit is not always to serve, but to serve you must submit. This is an old maxim, and one that will always be true. Serve your Mistress without thought of your own desires, and you have given her a gift beyond all measure.